Storytime
by MoonlightPrancing
Summary: A quiet evening on James' birthday. A large book of Muggle fairytales, newly unwrapped. And then, we have Sirius...this night might just crush his dignity.


_AN: This fanfiction is mine, but the Little Red Riding Hood tale is not._

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"You're a bloody, bloody idiot."

As if his life was in mortal turmoil, Sirius Black tensed dramatically. "This looks like total garbage." He tossed the book down onto James' bed, and it bounced off to the floor, landing with a thud.

James scowled, and bent down to pick it back up. "It's not garbage, Padfoot! There's nothing wrong with stories, is there?"

James had unwrapped all his birthday presents mere minutes ago. At the bottom of the pile, he had found a brand new book of muggle fairytales. And Sirius seemed to think it was stupid.

Looking up from his own book, Remus came over to join them. Flipping through the muggle book, he shrugged. "They don't look bad to me. Maybe we could all read one."

"You do that, then."

"When I say all, that includes you."

"Guuuuh."

Peter bounced over his bed and sat himself on James' pillow. "Wow! My Mum has exactly the same book at home. She bought it at a muggle flea market. Thought it might be interesting to read some muggle tales."

"Some of them have magic in them," Remus commented pausing on a page. "Wizards. Though they're not much like us."

James took the book back from Remus. "I'll find us one to read. And Sirius, you'll get to do the honors."

"Aw, come on…"

"You'll probably end up really liking them," James continued. "Here's a good one. Little Red Riding Hood." He held out the book. "...Padfoot?"

Sirius snatched the book and skimmed the first paragraph. "I'm already bored."

"Hem hem!" James coughed.

"Fine, then!" Sirius snapped.

"**There was once a little girl who lived in the middle of a deep dark forest with her mother and father, who was a woodcutter.**"

"A what?" Peter asked softly.

"Someone who chops down...trees, I think," Remus said, thoughtfully.

"What on earth for?" Sirius snorted. He didn't wait for Remus to reply.

"**The little girl always wore a red cloak with a warm hood, and so she was called Little Red Riding Hood.**

**One day she decided to visit her granny, who lived some way from the woodcutter's cottage. She took a basket with a cake her mother had baked and set off. Now the last thing her mother had said to Little Red Riding Hood was, "Don't leave the path, and don't talk to any strangers-'**"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "And guess what's she's going to do?"

"'**-But I am afraid Little Red Riding Hood was not really listening. So when she saw some bluebells growing under a tree she left the path and began to pick a bunch for her granny. Slowly, slowly, she wandered further away from the path, deeper into the trees. Suddenly, she was not alone. There in front of her stood a great big wolf. Now Little Red Riding Hood had not met a wolf before so she did not realize that wolves are not the kind of people it is wise to be too friendly with.**"

Sirius frowned. "What about Remus, then? Our little werewolf? We shouldn't be friendly with him? And sheesh, someone ought to have told her about wolf danger."

"It does sound like it's for younger children," Remus agreed. "But don't keep stopping it."

"'**Good day, little girl,' said the wolf with a snarly sort of smile. 'What is your name and where are you going?'**"

"STRANGER DANGER!" James yelled.

"'**My name is Little Red Riding Hood. I am going to visit my granny, and I am taking her a cake to eat," replied Little Red Riding Hood.**

**The wolf was delighted. Not only a little girl to eat but a granny and a cake as well!**"

"Do werewolves eat people?" James asked Remus interestedly.

Remus shuddered. "Rarely."

"'**And where does your granny live, little girl?' asked the wolf, trying hard to smile nicely despite his fierce teeth.**

**Little Red Riding Hood told the wolf where her granny lived-"**

"Oh, come on-"

"**-and went on picking bluebells. The wolf slipped away through the trees and soon found the granny's cottage. He tapped on the door, and said, in a disguised voice, 'Hello, granny. It is Little Red Riding Hood. I have brought you a cake, will you let me in?'**

**As soon as the door was open, the wolf bounded in, and gobbled the granny all up!"**

"Poor granny," Peter moaned, looking genuinely sympathetic.

"**He put on her nightcap and shawl and climbed into her bed. Soon he heard Little Red Riding Hood coming, and he tried his snarly smile again.**

'**Hello, granny," said Little Red Riding Hood. 'I have brought you a cake and these bluebells,' and she came up to the bedside.**

'**Goodness, granny! What big eyes you have!' she said.**

'**All the better to see you with,' growled the wolf.**

**Little Red Riding Hood could not help noticing the wolf's teeth. 'Goodness, granny! What big teeth you have!'**

'**All the better to eat you with!' snapped the wolf and gobbled Little Red Riding Hood up."**

"Hey, isn't she supposed to survive? Isn't there supposed to be happily ever after?" Sirius said, eyebrows raised.

"Just keep going," Remus bid him.

"**He gobbled up the cake in the basket as well and then, very full indeed, he feel fast asleep, snoring loudly.**

**Now by great good luck, Little Red Riding Hood's father was passing by the cottage, and when he heard the terrible snores he put his head round the door to see who was making such a noise. He was horrified to see the wolf, so he took his axe and made a great slit down the wolf's tummy. Out jumped Little Red Riding Hood. Out staggered granny.**

"Is that even possible?"

"Who knows?"

"**She stitched up the wolf's tummy and told him to mind his manners in the future. Then, as there was no cake left for tea, they all went back home, and Little Red Riding Hood's mother made pancakes. I am pleased to say that Little Red Riding Hood had learnt her lesson, and she never spoke to wolves again."**

Sirius shut the book and stared at it. "That was so stupid, it was funny!"

Peter looked very strange. "Can you learn anything from that? Mum says all good stories have morals."

"Don't talk to wolves?" James suggested.

"Not much of a moral," Sirius said stiffly. "Seeing as wolves can't be talked to anyway."

He staggered to his feet. "Okay, time for bed!" he slapped the book into James' arms. "And never, ever make me do that again." He crossed over to his bed still muttering.

James grinned at Remus. "So what did you think?"

"A bit childish, I suppose. But it was probably written for small children. Night, James."

"Night."

James looked down at the book. Sure, it was a bit young for people of his age. But if Sirius was thinking he could get out of hearing another one tomorrow night, he was kidding himself.


End file.
